Author: happyhealthyhabits8

 

5 Things Every Mom Must Do

1. Go buy a set of head phones, dollar store will do. You can get a decent pair for $4.00. Atleast once a week put your headphones on and zone out everything around you. Enjoy some of your favourite music, listen to an audio book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t had time, Listen to peaceful nature sounds and meditate. What you listen to isn’t important. What is important is taking some time to zone in on something you’re interested in. Not something your kids are interested in, not something your work wants you to do, not something you need to do, but something that you want to do.
2. Pour yourself a glass of wine, cup of coffee, cup of tea, or any other preferred beverage and sit comfortably in a place of your choice (out on the deck on a summer day, in your favourite chair, snuggled up in front of the fireplace) UNTIL THAT BEVERAGE IS GONE. If you’re like me you have left a cup of coffee somewhere in the house, gotten distracted and heated it up in the microwave (more than once). Make an effort to make yourself important. As moms we are always quick to make our children’s needs more important than our own, but guess what… their need for your attention will still be there in 20 minutes when you’re done drinking your tea. Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes it really is an emergency and they really do need you but 98% of the time whatever it is they need can wait for 20 minutes.
3. Take a bath. Light some candles, put on some music, add some bubbles and relax (as much as you possibly can). You may need to lock the door for this one or you will most certainly end up with extra little bodies in there which will bring down the relax factor.
4. Accept help when it is offered. I met a woman at one of my daughters extra-curriculars that came with her daughter every third week. Someone asked her one night if she worked the other 2 nights. Her response, `Don`t judge me. My mother in law offered to bring her. So, 2 nights a month I go home, run a bath, have a glass of wine and eat nachos for dinner.` – BRILLIANT. The reason more moms do not do this… 3 little words `DON’T JUDGE ME.` The fear of being judged often outweighs our need for `me time`.
5. Buy yourself a gift. This will be dependent on what you like and doesn`t have to break the bank. For some of you it will be flowers, makeup, clothing, a book, but be sure to make it something you’ve wanted for a while and have been putting off. Buy yourself something because you deserve it.

 

Moms exist in all shapes and size, age, religion, ethnicity, economic status, and race.

Some experience hard times, some have it easy.

Some give birth naturally, some do not.

Some cook healthy nutritious meals, some eat out 7 nights a week.

Some work full time, some stay home.

Some are married, and some are not.

While celebrating our differences we can also agree that there is one commonality that unite us all.

WE.

ALL.

WANT.

NOTHING.

BUT.

THE.

BEST.

for that little being that grew inside us. We have been blessed to have them call us mom. We owe it to them, and ourselves, to be the best version of ourselves, regardless of current circumstance.

Past circumstance and current circumstance do not equal future circumstance. As moms, we have choices. We have them every moment of every single day. We can choose to uplift each other, support each other, unite and improve circumstances for future generations. OR we can choose not to.

I have researched 30 different moms, 30 different circumstances, and 30 unique stories. My hopes are to express, through short story, one thing; the one thing that unites us all for what we are.

We are moms.

We are loved.

We are not alone.

Those tiny eyes watching you, loving you, following your every move have nothing but love for you. More importantly though they need you to first love yourself. All too often moms are comparing and judging and wondering why another acts in the way that they do. We must learn to build each other up rather than find one another’s faults. We are all deserving of support, encouragement and love. The truth is, I am willing to wager that each and every one you have done both, compared and judged. Perhaps you’ve compared yourself to a sister, a friend, a stranger. You know the one I’m speaking of. Their house is spotless, nails always done, kids perfectly dressed, they’ve got it all together. Then there is the judgment; the mom in the grocery store about to lose her cool because her kids are screaming. Then, instead of dealing with it, she buys them the candy they’ve been screaming about for the past fifteen minutes. We have all done it. We have all compared and we have all judged.

This series of short stories that you will see over the next few months is meant to open us up. Open us to the realities that others are facing. Open us up to what others are facing. Mostly though, to encourage us to find it within us to build up, support, encourage and unite.

 

That old saying, “kids these days…” is really starting to ring true. As someone who spends the majority of time around children, both my own and those I teach, it is apparent that it is becoming more and more difficult to raise respectful, caring, well balanced children in this ever-changing world. More difficult but definitely still possible.

We hear about it in the news. They speak of how parents have reversed roles and are now being controlled by their children. Disciplining children has become a thing of the past. Parents try way too hard to be-friend their children rather than parent them. An important difference between parenting and friendship is a parent must be strict. In order to ensure the best possible future for your child a parent must be strict with routine in coordinating theocracy by doing so, the family dynamic has only to benefit.

Parents explain how they drive their children to activities 4 or 5 nights a week and how their own free time is now non-existent as its been replaced by chauffeuring children. There seems to be an increasing worry about ensuring our children are happy and keeping children entertained rather than allowing them down time and boredom, therefore teaching them patience and independence. In a world of I want it and I want it now, are we passing negative mindset to our next generation?

The alternative to this results in children that have little or no activity involvement and find it hard to socialize in situations with other children.

So, it seems we are darned if we do and darned if we don’t.

The truth is, I am so far from having the answer.

I believe in balance. Balance is the answer in many aspects of our lives; nutrition, exercise, work, and I also believe it can be used for parenting. Of course we want our children to be happy but not at the exchange of their behaviour, values, and discipline. Children need to know they are loved but they can feel this through structure, and through the most powerful parenting word we have, NO. I had a conversation with a friend the other day about how it is completely ok and actually essential to tell our children no. They must learn that they cannot have their way the majority of the time at a young age or it will only become more difficult as they age. It is ok to limit their activities and it’s absolutely ok to tell them no. Technology makes for some underlying competition or also known as, “keeping up with Jones”. It is natural to not want your children to miss out on other things kids their age are doing, but at what cost? Families sometimes find themselves in debt, missing quality time at home, missing meals and weekends together in order to take part in certain activities. These activities can also be really rewarding hence the importance of balance. If activities and commitments are putting more stress and strain on the family than reward, then it’s time to refocus on what is really important and perhaps why you started in the first place.

There are so many factors that influencing our children and our parenting. Factors include peer influence, school culture, environmental factors, technology and the list goes on. With so many factors out of our control as parents, we do have control over our time at home and how we deal with preparing for the other factors. It is our obligation to prepare our children to deal with all of these external factors, keep communication open and lead by example. Get involved. Get involved with their school, their friends, and their activities.

We got this parents.

Side hustle

You’ve probably seen posts and heard people talk about their, “side hustle.” Some of you will know exactly what that means and some of you will have no idea what people mean when they say it. In this post I am going to explain exactly what a side hustle means to me and how it has helped my family and I on more than one occasion.

I have years of experience in hospitality and retail before starting my career in teaching. My income ranged from $10-$12/hour or relied heavily on gratuities. Once working full time on salary my pay was much higher but so were my living expenses; mortgage, children, cost of living etc. After putting in a 40+ hour work week there was still a need for just a little bit more.

So when I took a look at the numbers, with small children how many hours was I willing to put into a second part time job that would take me away from my family on nights and weekends?

Truth? Zero.

I was willing to work away from home zero hours. Time is precious. If I were to work 12-15 extra hours part time in retail for example, my pay check would be $144-$180, probably not even enough to cover the gas getting me to and from the job and then to factor in what my time is worth, 3 nights of the week that I don’t eat dinner with my family or bathe, read to and tuck in my children.

It just was not a practical solution for me.

So, that brings me to the alternative, the side hustle. Using social networking, emails and messaging in small blocks of time throughout the day and after the kids are in bed. There are generally 3 components in order to make some money. You need to believe in network marketing or at least be open-minded to how it operates, you need to believe in the product or service that it has to offer and you need to believe in yourself.

That’s sometimes the hard part, the believing in yourself, while everyone around you is telling you it will never work. Numbers tell you that only 5% of network marketers will make enough money to quite their day job. I choose to look at that number as 5 out of every hundred people DO MAKE ENOUGH TO QUIT THEIR DAY JOB. Many will make that little extra they need to help out with bills, pay for a car payment, save for a trip. Those that get started and fail have simply lost one or more of the 3 beliefs.

I have always had a little voice in the back of my head telling me, “There has got to be a better way.” Making ends meet, work day in and day out and feeling exhausted when you get home. Your career uses up all of your energy. That constant struggle because the ones you love the most are left with what little energy you have left at the end of the day. The day starts off with a rush to get everyone dressed, fed and out the door. Stop at daycare (hugs and kisses, maybe some tears, the lingering final hug that lasts a little longer because that little being that loves you more than anything is going to be gone again for the entire day), then school drop off (not as emotional), then off to work. 8 or 9 hours pass until it is pick up time. Your littles are exhausted and you are too, but all day you’ve been missing them and cannot wait to see their little faces and find out how their day was. Pull into the driveway, time to make dinner, eat, bath time, story time, and they’re out. You put your feet up and think of the million things you should be doing but don’t have it in you to actually do them. You go to bed, alarm clock rings and you do it all over again. What if it didn’t have to be like this?

Now picture this day.

Similar, but using a few little pockets of time you send a few emails, create a few posts and answer a few messages. Just like that you have created the same amount of income as the part time job that takes you away from your family 3 nights a week.

Or, better yet, follow a proven system in a company with a solid structure and those few small pockets of time increase to a few hours of your day but you have now replaced the income that were making for 40 hours of work in just ten. What would you do with your extra time? What would that mean to you and what would that mean to your family?

If you have that same voice that tells you, “there has got to be a better way ,“ then we need to talk!

 

Rise and Shine

Seriously, do it! It’s Monday morning so there’s no doubt you will need to rise at some point, that is inevitable. BUT it is your decision as to whether or not you’re going to SHINE. So, just do it!

We watched Mary Poppins this weekend and as I watched I swayed from loving her character to becoming a little jealous to loving her again.

Ever wonder how she does it? A smile on her face, loved by everyone, not a care in the world and all the forest creatures’ dance around her while she radiates loveliness. The truth is, I do feel this way from time to time. BUT most of the time, I’m just going through the day floundering around trying to make ends meet. Cleaning, prepping, helping, feeding, and ensuring that everyone around me has what they need.

Moms these days that work full time but have the heart of a stay at home mom burn the candle at both ends trying to be the best but often neglect themselves. Why not take a little time out of each day for yourself.

What empowers you?

What uplifts you?

What makes you feel like a million bucks?

What makes you SHINE?

I guarantee if you can answer this question and truly take the time to do it, you will be much more productive and those around you will most certainly benefit. It’s easier keeping track of what everyone else needs, your kids need lunches, dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be done, house needs to be cleaned, groceries need to be bought, but it’s your time now. Do some soul searching and answer those 4 questions above. You deserve it!